Please, sir, can I have some more? July 13, 2005
Posted by Amber D. Evans in : Reflections, Chico CA , add a commentWhile
the shopping is monetarily stressful, it’s also really fun and
rewarding to buy one or two nice things for the upcoming triathlon.
Kinda’ like an “Exercise Christmas” or something.
More money, that is!
And so I want to “Hooray!” to Jiggles and her interest-free lending! It’s nice to treat oneself when working oneself so damn hard!
While
the shopping is monetarily stressful, it’s also really fun and
rewarding to buy one or two nice things for the upcoming triathlon.
Kinda’ like an “Exercise Christmas” or something.
Wow! Who da’
thunk you could get excited over sports bras, socks, polyester tank
tops, and Danskin capris? Or estatic over $5 aluminum bottle cages and
$35 gel-padded gloves? Christmas will be easy this year …
Reflecting on My Own Rediscovery July 12, 2005
Posted by Amber D. Evans in : Reflections, Chico CA , add a comment… It may be because being a
"big girl" is something I'm all too familiar with, too. I've always
been the "bigger one" growing up. But I've never really felt awkward or
alone in this aspect.
I wrote this for a particular friend of mine whom I think feels the
societal pains of our triathlon journey more than the rest of us. She's
a bigger gal, but I never really thought of her that way. But I know
that she thinks of herself that way.
It may be because being a
"big girl" is something I'm all too familiar with, too. I've always
been the "bigger one" growing up. But I've never really felt awkward or
alone in this aspect.
The way I see it, I'm bigger, but I'm also
active, funny, humble, and if any skinny people give me shit, well, I
can sit on them. (Really, just kidding. I love all kinds of folks.)
But
I understand the desire to prove others wrong when it comes to your
size. People really do seem to think that fat people are fat because
they are lazy. Therefore, when you are a "fit but fat" person, you know
you're not lazy. And so you spend too much time trying to combat the
ingrained myth. And if you were ever skinny or thin at one time, it
seems to be even worse because you're consciously afraid to become that which you have unconsciously shunned.
I can say this because proving oneself used to be what I was about
because I always fought my "bigger self" until two years ago.
I
used to think I was fat at 130 lbs. I skipped meals, leaving me too
tired to work out. I worked 2-3 jobs at a time going to school, leaving
me no time to exercise.
I was unhappy with not working out and
with gaining weight, but I didn't really want to face my reality
either. Something had to change, just as long as it wasn't me! Strapped
for cash, strapped for time, strapped for energy, I was stuck. I was
steadily becoming strapped for a life.
Then, I did a fun thing. I took an easy last semester, got a new job, and I got a dog.
I don't even remember how or when it exactly started, but I realized
that I loved taking Calen for long walks, then runs, then hikes, then
cross-country runs. And I loved every minute of it.
And as work
picked up, I became aware that it was a job that was beginning to suck
the life out of me again, leaving me without energy to live. And I
really missed dancing, or just being active and getting outside. And so
I began looking for another job, and started scheduling workout times
as if they were as important as doctor appointments. I was sure to
schedule activities that I even liked. And I no longer
adjusted my workout days and times to accomodate others. And after four
months, I no longer felt like I had to apologize or make excuses to my
friends or family when I'd choose to work out instead of going out.
And
now, some of my friends have even said, "Wow. I'm so impressed with
your dedication and motivation to workout on your own." Trust me,
sistah. It wasn't always this way.
So for the last two years,
I've been hiking and mountain biking with my puppers, and am a masterly
mad stepper at my gym. And I'm still looking for new challenges in
exercise. I think this triathlon just might be my ticket …
What Triathlon Gear Means to Me … July 11, 2005
Posted by Amber D. Evans in : Reflections, Gear and Equipment, Chico CA , add a commentSo, blue is my poison from here on out …
For me, this triathlon is becoming more about how I feel in all
aspects: looks, self-worth, confidence, fitness, vanity, etc. and it’s
nice to know that looking good and being comfortable is possible. And
since I’m particular about “buy once, last forever” I do like it when
my stuff matches (or at least is related to the same color wheel.)
So, blue is my poison from here on out …