The Role of Partners - Part 2 November 24, 2005
Posted by Amber D. Evans in : Reflections, Blacksburg VA , trackbackSupport, competition, and cooperation make for good partners in training and in life. It isn't always so easy, though …
Here's my personal problem in integrating my life partner into a training partner. (I can use your feedback!)
Hubby has never seen me swim before this past Sunday.
He spent the latter half of the hour watching me swim and counting yards for me. He was really in awe of how long and far I swam; funny part was that it was a short swim day at 1500 yards! It was really nice, though, to have his support and to see the awe/wonderment in his face at my accomplishments.
We've spent the last 6 months living on opposite coasts due to our current job situations. I don't really know what his day-to-day life is like, nor does he comprehend mine. He tells me he works 50+ hour weeks, and I didn't really understand it until this most recent visit of mine. It's just like my daily workouts (sometimes twice a day!) I've told him I'm doing triathlons; I work out at least 1.5 to 3 hours a day during peak season and 1 to 2 hours in off-season. He didn't "get it" though until this visit when he started joining me during some of my workout sessions.
With me doing triathlons and cross-training, and being 30 lbs. lighter, he expressed concern that I may be "moving on" without him. I'm certainly moving forward (pun completely intended) with my (our?) life, but I wouldn't think of it as "moving on." I'm not trying to catch another man's eye. I spent more than enough time catching my hubby's! If anything, the sudden male attention I've been receiving has been anything but desireable. (Pesky bar-flies! Keep your hands to yerself! Seriously, ick!)
I'm lucky, though. Hubby is so wonderful because he was frank enough to admit that he was scared I'd become "too hot" and then leave him to run away with some other hot triathlon stud. (As if.) Awwwww … how sweet is that (in an insecure kind-of-way)? I suggested if that was a concern of his, how about he become that hot triathlon stud with whom I could run away with. He didn't think it was funny, but it did get him to thinking. Now, he wants to be my training buddy. I was informed of this today while making the turkey stuffing.
It makes sense on the surface. He's my partner in life, my mate, future father of my children. I've wanted to share athleticism with him since we first dated (over 5 years ago), but he was never very enthusiastic. Now, he's very interested. But I'm concerned.
We're not on the same level. He'd have to spend a lot of alone time getting caught up or I have to sacrifice some quality training time to pace with him. Plus, how serious is he really? He tends to start things and then quickly loses interest. With my instructional design background, I know I should help him define goals and learning objectives to help him realize exactly what it is he wants and the plan by which to get there. Only, I don't think he'd bother spending the time to do just that. He'd rather just "go for a run and see." *Sigh* If the past can be used as any kind of a record, he's none too reliable (bless his heart); he's got a panache for flaking or giving excuses (like former training partners I've had): I'm too tired. I'm too hungry. It's too cold. It's too hot. Blah, blah, blah.
"Then, I'm going alone and I'm fine with that. Are you?"
Only this time, I want him to come along. I want him to be a good training partner with me. I'm good with Sam because I don't like to let others down, so I put myself in a situtation in which I'd feel like a first-class jerk if I were to skip out. What do I do with Josh? How can I help ensure his success in starting out and in becoming a good workout buddy? How do I keep competition friendly, or keep him from feeling "inadequate" while making up the difference (for the short while)? I already have some ideas which I was going to run by him …
I can always use more suggestions, 'cause I'm not entirely sure how to handle this. Open call for comments/opinions on the matter! What works for you and your training partner now? What has or has not worked in the past? Anyone else experience this?
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