2005 Year in Review December 31, 2005
Posted by Amber D. Evans in : Reflections, Assessments, Blacksburg VA, Training Stats , add a commentThe start was only 6 months ago, yet I've traveled an infinite amount …
Here it is! My 2005 Year in Review!
Not too shabby, if I say so myself!
2005 December in Review
Posted by Amber D. Evans in : Assessments, Chico CA, Training Stats , add a commentWhat I've done between the 1st and the end of the month.
Data entered into, compiled, and exported from FitnessJournal.org.
Why is my weight, but not my training, anyone's business? December 28, 2005
Posted by Amber D. Evans in : Reflections, Chico CA , add a comment… but I don't like how I get the feeling that everyone is staring at me and/or watching what and how I eat.
Staying with the in-laws. They're great people; I really do love them. There was lot's of good food as it's Christmas (to be expected). But I don't like how I get the feeling that everyone is staring at me and/or watching what and how I eat.
It's not just my in-laws. It's nearly everybody, even many of my friends. Maybe it's just me being paranoid, but I really feel that since I've lost weight (an “accidental” by-product of training) everyone seems to make it their business to “praise me” and “help me” be “good.” I am actually getting annoyed with how everyone says, “Wow! You look so good! You've lost SO much weight! How much was it? You must be watching what you eat so carefully. You must be starving yourself. You must be … blah, blah, blah.” I want to say, “You must be the rudest person I know. Let's talk about your <personal insecurity here>.”
So, let's get back to the “group observation” thing … this year at Christmas and Thanksgiving, I simply didn't eat as much because I snack ALL THE TIME. I snack because I'm hungry and it's easier to do than to actually make a meal. I eat salads, energy bars, cereal, tuna fish, etc. because it's super easy and usually what I have around. So, it's Christmas and what is around? Cheese and chocolate. No biggie … I'll eat that, too. I'm not worried about it, really. It's once a year and I don't have any big races in the next 4 weeks. So what if I want to eat 10 cookies? Geez, it's not like I don't burn over 20,000 calories a month. I can eat 10 cookies in a row once in awhile.
This is where everyone feels obliged to “help me be good.” I've heard all of the following this past month:
- “Are you sure you should eat that?”
- “Didn't you already have a cookie?”
- “You're having more food? Didn't you just eat something?”
- “Maybe you should have some nuts instead of cake.”
Grrrrr … The only good thing that comes out of this is that I feel really inclined to take off and go for a sprint session to burn off some steam. Sadly, all of this “help” bugs me. I try really hard to just smile and shake it off by saying, “Heck, with all the training I'm doing, I can eat whatever I want.”
But the truth is, I do watch what I eat when I know I've got training the next day or an event coming up. I watch it because I'm concerned about how and what I ingest affects my performance, NOT my waistline. But “normal” people don't get it. I've just learned that I'm no longer the Shape magazine subscriber. I'm no longer that girl who works out 5 days a week and watches what she eats to maintain her figure and pseudo-health. I'm different now. I'm not more than those folks, but I find I'm just not sharing that mindset.
So what am I? Am I an athlete? Not really, although I say I am to everyone else just because it's easier to simplify than to get into the varying degrees of seriousness. So am I a pseudo-athlete? I think so. Definitely a slothlete, as Libor once said (Ha, ha)! I just wish people would be interested in my Triathlon and training accomplishments and not my figure. It's so lame, but the cliche is true; I want people to notice that it's what's inside that counts. Could someone please recognize my Tri passion, my Tri knowledge, my training intelligence (thanks Trifuel and CSC Coach), my dedication, my effort, my daily active life in some way that doesn't consist of “you look so much better”?
Look, I realize that people are just trying to be “nice” and “helpful.” They want to give me “support” and “recognize my hard work” in probably the only way they know how. I'm irritated because my appearance is really none of their business AND when I do decide to talk about how it came about, I really get into how excited and “into the Tri thing” I am. If they'd just listen to that–to my accomplishments–I'd be fine. Instead, when I talk about all the hard work and training I do, that's when their eyes just glaze over and they don't really want to listen. They want to hear about the weight loss and how I must have done some crazy diet instead. It's like they don't really believe that I swim, bike, and run between 10-20 hours a week and cover 75+ miles in that same time. Sometimes I feel so frustrated. Am I just being a big crybaby? Does anyone else understand?