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2005 November in Review December 1, 2005

Posted by Amber D. Evans in : Assessments, Chico CA, Training Stats , add a comment

What I've done between the 1st and the end of the month.

Data entered into, compiled, and exported from FitnessJournal.org.

Fitness Journal November 2005 Workout Summary

Really Down and Dumpy …

Posted by Amber D. Evans in : Reflections, Chico CA , add a comment

Feeling homeless, suffering through three stressful work days, long working nights, short and sporatic workouts, and four cheese sandwiches later, I'm feeling really down and dumpy. :( ugh.

Today, I've lost all motivation for working out. I had entertained the idea of going swimming this morning, but I was so tired. I was so tired as of last night at 8:30 pm! I'm under such duress with work. Back-to-back deadlines for everything this week! Really, really stressed here.

I need the workout, but I can't spare the time to go. I could go, but I forgo sleep. I'm hungry, so I'm buying food-to-go and making fontina cheese sandwiches because I don't even have time to go grocery shopping for food and all I have is leftover cheese from the Thanksgiving appetizers.

I miss my husband, too. He's in Virginia working full-time; I'm in CA working and finishing my Masters until May 2006. Last trip to VA I brought almost everything else with me. In January, I'll be spending more time there than in CA … In VA we have an apt., my cat is there, half of my wardrobe is there, and all of my furniture and stuff is there. The only thing left in CA are my family and friends, my dog, and the other half of my wardrobe. I don't even have my own place in CA anymore; I've moved back in with my parents for the remainder of this semester. That in itself is stressful.

I feel so displaced. I feel really down.

I feel lumpy, dumpy, and fat today. The scale says otherwise (down another 2 lbs., WTF?) , but I'm just not jiving with it. I feel like having a couple of dark beers, an order of chili fries, and half a pack of Djarum cloves. Luckily, I can't (too much to do!) But, the mere thought of wanting to do those bad things scares me. I'm so scared that I'm cycling back into old, bad habits, just by entertaining those thoughts.

Am I crazy? Does anyone else here know what I'm talking about? I sure could use some reassurance and maybe a supportive word.

*Sigh*